Ok Now that we are on the ground and ready to explore this beautifull land, let me continue further.

 Earlier I mentioned the drinking habit of the taxi drivers. Well Taxi drivers are not the only drinkers in the town.  On the topic if drinking…….

Kerala has the highest per capita alcohol consumption in the country. Yes THE HIGHEST. They even beat the hearty Punjabi, when it comes to worshiping Bacchus.  

Alcohol is distributed by a Kerala government undertaking called the Beverages Corporation, whose logo is two arrows going up and one coming down encased in a circle. The symbolism in the logo is hard to miss. The shops will have this logo displayed prominently and there will be a big queue in front of the shop by around 6PM.  If you want to procure your own booze then ask for ‘Bevco’ and anybody will tell you the shortest route to it. The shops remain open up to 9 PM everyday except national holidays and major religious holidays. Most brands of Indian Made Foreign Liquor are available. 

Since the booze market is so big there is a lot spurious material available in the market. Though Bevco shops mostly sell good stuff , you should be careful if you are drinking in any shady bar. 

Toddy is another favourite drink of Kerala. It is made by fermenting juice from the coconut palm. It is nice and warming and not so alcoholic if taken fresh. Leave it over for a day and it becomes a hammer of Thor, to blast the drinker out into oblivion. It is cheap and easily available.  

Toddy shops are some of the shadiest places you can go to, and the best way to procure some  is to ask your hotel fellow to arrange for a fresh bottle in the mornings. Some toddy shops have tried to reinvent themselves as traditional Kerala food specialty restaurants, and some of them have succeeded in the endeavor. Many such joints can be found in central and south Kerala, where you can get into an enclosed well ventilated area, drink toddy, have good fish and crab with your family in full privacy. 

To keep up the lead on rest of the country, an average Malayali has to start drinking early, which means that most roads in central and south Kerala are deserted by around 8 PM. Decent restaurants start downing shutters by 9 to 10 PM. Only Bars are open up to 12 to 1 in the morning. Most bars serve good food but are not good if you want to take your wife and kids. Some up market bars are an exception. One can make out whether a bar is up market by looking at the makes of cars parked outside. 

Malabar or North Kerala is slightly different. With a large muslim population Malabar drinks less. This does not mean that those who do drink drink any less than their Cochin (Central Kerala) and Travancore (South Kerala) cousins. The shops and restaurants remain open late in the night, people are generally sober even after 8 PM. 

Most restaurants in Cochin and Travancore  will close by around 10 PM. A person can get food either through room service or if you are stuck on the street then you can always go to small road side food stalls that spring up after 7 PM everywhere. These stalls serve hot chicken, egg, beef, black gram curry with traditional Kerala rice pancakes called appam, Idiappam, or even dosa. The food is generally very fresh and hygienically prepared. At least I have never fallen sick after eating roadside chicken here in Kerala. 

Vegetarians will have a hard time in Kerala. Traditional Kerala vegetarian fare is not to everybody’s taste and the Tamil or Punjabi style vegetarian food that most of north Indians crave is available in few restaurants. Unless you are staying in a good hotel, north Indian style vegetarian food is difficult to find. From a backpacker’s point of view, it is bad to be a vegetarian in Kerala. 

For People who prefer non-vegetarian food, Kerala is heaven. Numerous varieties of fish and other sea food, cooked in delectable Kerala style await you. Try everything, its lovely.  A malayali eats everything that runs, flies or swims, so everything is on menu. Fish, Chicken, egg, mutton, beef, duck, rabbit, frog, all crustaceans…….the list is very big. Nice hotels and restaurants are good, but charge a lot of money. If you are like me, a value seeker then try eating  at toddy joints and road side places. The food is much fresher, tastier and is equally (un)hygienic. If you eat out then avoid drinking water or carry bottled water.

To be contd………

This is my new series for those who are planning to visit Kerala in near future. Since I am from Rajasthan, which is a completely different country altogether and have become a naturalised malayali, I think I am in a good position to dispense free advice on Kerala to my less experienced brethren who might have a good fortune of landing here on business or pleasure.  

This not about what to do or where to stay. It will be mostly about HOW to do it.   

Some of the people would not agree with me or may have different views, to which they are fully entitled. This is only based on my experience of living and working in Kerala and is not intended to be the last word. Kerala like the rest of the country is fast changing and some changes may even surprise people like us who have immersed themselves in the culture.Anyway let me begin 

Landing in God’s own country : You can come to Kerala either by Bus, train or air. It is very well connected to the rest country with direct trains to almost all metros and mini metros and direct flights to all expect Calcutta. If you are travelling by land and coming thorugh Konkan Rail then the transition from Rest of India to Kerala is not that apparent,  but if you come through Pallakkad gap from Coimbatore side, then the transition is stunning. Previous station is Coimbatore which is surrounded by brown, dusty countryside and as you cross the western ghats thorugh Palakkad gap, you are greeted by the most stunning greenery to be seen anywhere in the country. Although it is mostly rubber and other cultivated trees, but still the transition is amazing.  

From the air also, if you are like me and love to look down and out then you will notice some clouds approaching from far, below you is the dust bowl of India and suddenly everything is green as far as the eye can see. It is very clear to make out where the dust bowl ends and where ‘Gods own country’ begins.Anyway once you have taken in a fill of the greenery from air and land its time to face the people. 

Language : Most north Indians consider this to be another state in south India where everybody hates Hindi and northerners and can be spoken only in English. It’s a big mistake. All schools in Kerala have compulsory Hindi up to class 10^th and given the popularity of Bollywood film and music your average Malayali is more likely to understand and respond in Hindi than anywhere in South India, except maybe parts of Andhra.Also Kerala has a huge expatriate population both in India and abroad. Most families have at least one person who has had exposure to north Indian or other cultures. Thus they have a somewhat cosmopolitan outlook, which is tolerant and more receptive to people of other cultures.  

If a person starts off in English, an average on-the-street Malayali will not be able to make a head or tail out of it, because after school he rarely uses English. Most signs are in Malayalam, government works in Malayalam, newspapers are Malayalam. But Hindi is a language which many retain, through constant bombardment by cinema and music. Also if a Malayali does not understand English, but if you insist on speaking in the language then he may even take offence as you will hurt his Malayali pride trying to expose his ignorance of the language. But most malayalis are proud of whatever broken Hindi they can speak and love to show it off to fellow Malayalis.  

Malayalam is very close to Sanskrit with many words common between the two. So a slightly sankritised hindi can pass off as rudimentary Malayalam.

Therefore if you don’t know Malayalam, then it is advisable to start your conversations in Hindi, people will understand and even if they don’t some Good Samaritan who understands will come and help you out.  

Taxi’s : Most airports have prepaid taxi service to the town. They charge 14 Rs. Per km for a non-AC car and I think 18 Rs. Per km for an AC one. It is advisable to use the pre-paid service as they will have exact distance to your destination and you will avoid getting fleeced if you approach a taxi driver directly.

Taxi drivers like the rest of India are dishonest and will try to make a fast buck, though the level of dishonesty is very low comparatively. A taxi driver in Delhi might ask for 3 times the normal fare, whereas a Malayali will only add a few kms to the actual distance.   

If you are traveling to far of places, which involves overnight halt, then the drivers demand anything from Rs. 50 to 300 as out of pocket expenses. This should be negotiated before start of the journey to avoid unpleasant experiences later.  Most Taxi drivers are heavy drinkers and it is very important to discuss this with the driver or the tour company before starting on a journey. It is advisable not to travel in case your driver gets unusually drunk in spite of earlier warnings, especially if traveling involves night driving. Kerala roads are one of the most dangerous in the country. To add to the curves, blind corners , narrow bridges, unmarked, unpainted road medians, the Bus drivers own the roads and overtake anywhere anytime with impunity without regard for anybody coming from front, back or side.  

For city travel it is good to use auto rickshaws. They are relatively cheap and can negotiate tight traffic conditions with ease. Except Calicut no other city has a meter system for auto rickshaws. Calicut Autorickshaw drivers are the most honest and ready for service type compared to anywhere else in the country. I can say from experience as I have visited most parts of this great land. A Calicut driver will charge you as per meter, most meters are accurate and he will return even 25 paise in change. Whatever be the time he will never charge anything more than allowed. The same cannot be said about other places but on an average you can estimate the distance travelled and pay at approximately Rs. 9 per km.   

When you get down in Ernakulam Railway station, it is very difficult to find an Autorickshaw or a taxi and you may have to take assistance of the local police to stop one for you.  For Inter-city travels you can hire Taxi which will again charge you at aforementioned rates or you can use public transport that is available in the form of Trains and Buses.  

Trains : There are very convenient trans available between most major towns. You may have to check out the local timings. Trains are overcrowded on weekends and before and after holidays. 

Buses : KSRTC (That is Kerala state Transportation undertaking ) runs regular inter city services to all major towns and even to Bangalore and major towns in Tamilnadu. The buses are mostly basic with 3×2 seating with little or no overcrowding. Most co-passengers are polite and keep to themselves. An  average malayali takes care of his personal hygiene and hence most people travelling with you will be clean. 

Deluxe and AC services are few and far between and may not be conveniently timed. Some private bus operators do have Deluxe and AC services, but then you’ll have to check out the local travel agents.

 Read Part 2

Read Part 3