This is my new series for those who are planning to visit Kerala in near future. Since I am from Rajasthan, which is a completely different country altogether and have become a naturalised malayali, I think I am in a good position to dispense free advice on Kerala to my less experienced brethren who might have a good fortune of landing here on business or pleasure.  

This not about what to do or where to stay. It will be mostly about HOW to do it.   

Some of the people would not agree with me or may have different views, to which they are fully entitled. This is only based on my experience of living and working in Kerala and is not intended to be the last word. Kerala like the rest of the country is fast changing and some changes may even surprise people like us who have immersed themselves in the culture.Anyway let me begin 

Landing in God’s own country : You can come to Kerala either by Bus, train or air. It is very well connected to the rest country with direct trains to almost all metros and mini metros and direct flights to all expect Calcutta. If you are travelling by land and coming thorugh Konkan Rail then the transition from Rest of India to Kerala is not that apparent,  but if you come through Pallakkad gap from Coimbatore side, then the transition is stunning. Previous station is Coimbatore which is surrounded by brown, dusty countryside and as you cross the western ghats thorugh Palakkad gap, you are greeted by the most stunning greenery to be seen anywhere in the country. Although it is mostly rubber and other cultivated trees, but still the transition is amazing.  

From the air also, if you are like me and love to look down and out then you will notice some clouds approaching from far, below you is the dust bowl of India and suddenly everything is green as far as the eye can see. It is very clear to make out where the dust bowl ends and where ‘Gods own country’ begins.Anyway once you have taken in a fill of the greenery from air and land its time to face the people. 

Language : Most north Indians consider this to be another state in south India where everybody hates Hindi and northerners and can be spoken only in English. It’s a big mistake. All schools in Kerala have compulsory Hindi up to class 10^th and given the popularity of Bollywood film and music your average Malayali is more likely to understand and respond in Hindi than anywhere in South India, except maybe parts of Andhra.Also Kerala has a huge expatriate population both in India and abroad. Most families have at least one person who has had exposure to north Indian or other cultures. Thus they have a somewhat cosmopolitan outlook, which is tolerant and more receptive to people of other cultures.  

If a person starts off in English, an average on-the-street Malayali will not be able to make a head or tail out of it, because after school he rarely uses English. Most signs are in Malayalam, government works in Malayalam, newspapers are Malayalam. But Hindi is a language which many retain, through constant bombardment by cinema and music. Also if a Malayali does not understand English, but if you insist on speaking in the language then he may even take offence as you will hurt his Malayali pride trying to expose his ignorance of the language. But most malayalis are proud of whatever broken Hindi they can speak and love to show it off to fellow Malayalis.  

Malayalam is very close to Sanskrit with many words common between the two. So a slightly sankritised hindi can pass off as rudimentary Malayalam.

Therefore if you don’t know Malayalam, then it is advisable to start your conversations in Hindi, people will understand and even if they don’t some Good Samaritan who understands will come and help you out.  

Taxi’s : Most airports have prepaid taxi service to the town. They charge 14 Rs. Per km for a non-AC car and I think 18 Rs. Per km for an AC one. It is advisable to use the pre-paid service as they will have exact distance to your destination and you will avoid getting fleeced if you approach a taxi driver directly.

Taxi drivers like the rest of India are dishonest and will try to make a fast buck, though the level of dishonesty is very low comparatively. A taxi driver in Delhi might ask for 3 times the normal fare, whereas a Malayali will only add a few kms to the actual distance.   

If you are traveling to far of places, which involves overnight halt, then the drivers demand anything from Rs. 50 to 300 as out of pocket expenses. This should be negotiated before start of the journey to avoid unpleasant experiences later.  Most Taxi drivers are heavy drinkers and it is very important to discuss this with the driver or the tour company before starting on a journey. It is advisable not to travel in case your driver gets unusually drunk in spite of earlier warnings, especially if traveling involves night driving. Kerala roads are one of the most dangerous in the country. To add to the curves, blind corners , narrow bridges, unmarked, unpainted road medians, the Bus drivers own the roads and overtake anywhere anytime with impunity without regard for anybody coming from front, back or side.  

For city travel it is good to use auto rickshaws. They are relatively cheap and can negotiate tight traffic conditions with ease. Except Calicut no other city has a meter system for auto rickshaws. Calicut Autorickshaw drivers are the most honest and ready for service type compared to anywhere else in the country. I can say from experience as I have visited most parts of this great land. A Calicut driver will charge you as per meter, most meters are accurate and he will return even 25 paise in change. Whatever be the time he will never charge anything more than allowed. The same cannot be said about other places but on an average you can estimate the distance travelled and pay at approximately Rs. 9 per km.   

When you get down in Ernakulam Railway station, it is very difficult to find an Autorickshaw or a taxi and you may have to take assistance of the local police to stop one for you.  For Inter-city travels you can hire Taxi which will again charge you at aforementioned rates or you can use public transport that is available in the form of Trains and Buses.  

Trains : There are very convenient trans available between most major towns. You may have to check out the local timings. Trains are overcrowded on weekends and before and after holidays. 

Buses : KSRTC (That is Kerala state Transportation undertaking ) runs regular inter city services to all major towns and even to Bangalore and major towns in Tamilnadu. The buses are mostly basic with 3×2 seating with little or no overcrowding. Most co-passengers are polite and keep to themselves. An  average malayali takes care of his personal hygiene and hence most people travelling with you will be clean. 

Deluxe and AC services are few and far between and may not be conveniently timed. Some private bus operators do have Deluxe and AC services, but then you’ll have to check out the local travel agents.

 To be contd……..

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